25
October
2004
I’d almost forgotten about the photos Märrie and I had had taken at RingCon last year - until I had them in my inbox just now…
Not the best picture in the world, but definitely the most flattering of the three they took. Why is it so hard to keep your eyes open in photos? *g*
Hard to believe that I’ll leave for RingCon 2004 on Thursday - I’ll be a helper this year. Therefore I guess I’ll won’t be costumed, which is kinda sad. I’d have loved to dress up as a hobbit lass again, the way I did for the premiere of RotK last December…
. 
. 
But - I’ll meet Billy Boyd (Pippin), my favorite hobbit actor! That’s so very exciting!
Posted: Fandom, Photos
22
October
2004
I’m feeling kinda discontent and stressed after my first (half-)week of uni. I thought the few classes I’m taking would give me enough time to write my papers despite SAD and all - but now they’ve all turned out to be ’smart’ classes, where I’ve got to read complicated texts every week and participate in work groups/prepare small lectures. Not good. I guess I should think about dropping some - but I’m not one to do so lightly, not if the subject matter is something that interests me and it’s just the workload the bugs me.
Also feeling generally tense and thin-skinned, despite the beautiful weather outside. There just seems to be so much stuff (both uni and social life wise) that I’m supposed to do, and time seems to be flying by, when all I’ve wanted for this semester was to be so well-organized that I could take things one day at a time. But the way things are shaping up, I foresee a bad winter again. 
Posted: Life
16
October
2004
Sitting in my room on a Saturday afternoon crying is not my idea of fun. Stupid PMS. Stupid me, too, for feeling let down and left alone by a number of people. I know that sometimes I neglect others, too, but I always try my best. Lately I’ve been feeling that for some, life has changed, and I’m not as important for them anymore as I used to.
With the exception of a couple of people, who are always there, always getting in touch, and not making me wait until I cave and take the initiative, because they’ve got better things to do. Not that they don’t like me anymore, but it’s just that their priorities are different. And all I can do is accept that. And that hurts. Especially in combination with PMS.
Posted: Life
12
October
2004
This week’s Unconscious Mutterings:
- Spacious:: free
- Crash:: car
- Autobiography:: Bill Clinton
- Sparkly:: dancing boys
- Wild Thing:: *headbangs*
- Haagen-Das:: yum!
- Sci-fi:: Asimov
- Voice:: lost
- Boy Scouts:: Pfadi (that’s what they’re called in Switzerland)
- Grief:: Loss
The thought that uni starts again next Monday is somewhat unsettling. I’m nowhere near ready - things haven’t been done that should have and I’m generally not feeling prepared. Most of it is my own fault, for not forcing myself to do stuff - for example I’ve been wasting the last days doing, well, nothing much, instead of finishing my internship report.
Feels as if all the things I’m supposed to be doing are piling up in front of me and immobilizing me. Usually I have days when I wake up full of energy and the will to tackle things, but it’s been a week since I’ve felt even remotely like that. Not that I’m depressed, that’s not it - it just feels as if I’m in some sort of limbo.
Oh well, whining about it won’t make it go away either.
Posted: Life, Memes
9
October
2004
I’ve been feeling a bit left of center, although I haven’t been exactly sick - spells of nausea and dizziness, but other than, not much. Yet I’ve been doing not a lot this week - didn’t finish my internship report (barely started it, truth be told), and therefore still haven’t started my German Lit paper. And uni starts again in a week’s time.
Well, but if I suppress my bad conscience, it’s been a pretty nice week. My parents have been in Berlin for the past two weeks, so Michi and I have been living on our own, which works pretty well. Except that we don’t eat enough veggies and salad. *g*
Tomorrow my friend Cindy will come to Basel - she’s been in the US for the past three months, so we haven’t seen each other in a while and I still owe her her birthday present from July (which I bought in Scotland). Not that that’s anything unusual, as we manage to go quite long stretches without meeting up, despite living only one hour apart most of the time. Yet I’m definitely looking forward to tomorrow.
There’ll also be a Zündstoff meeting, which we’ll both attend. Sadly, Zündstoff is at the moment only being published online, because we can’t get enough funding to get it printed. But we’re hoping to go national next spring, which would open up a whole new set of sponsors. I think it’s a pity that it’s impossible to publish a high-quality, independent youth mag in Basel - we were doing better and better with each issue, and I was really hoping to reach some people with my article about SAD.
Oh well, just stay positive. The only reason why I’m up writing this right now is that I watched ‘Halifax’ on TV. It was only the second time I saw that show, but I should have known beforehand that it’d freak me out. My imagination just runs away with me when I see scary movies and stuff. And all the psychological stuff on ‘Halifax’ feels really scary. But I think this post has accomplished its task - I’m not frantically glancing over my shoulder anymore… So good night! 
Posted: Life
3
October
2004
Felt quite crappy all week long - first flu of the season, I guess. Also felt bad because I couldn’t write on my internship paper, but just had to accept that. Luckily on Thursday I felt a bit better, so I went to the spa with Sibylle and sweated it all out. Been feeling tons better since then, except for some aches in my back and shoulder. Well enough to go to work this weeken, in any case… Oh joy!
Anyway, here are this week’s Unconscious Mutterings:
- Courage:: hobbits (too much LotR, huh? *g*)
- Stamina:: endurance
- Leader:: Hitler - ugh!
- Idea:: brilliant
- Rockstar:: baby, LA lady
- Dew:: Barrymore
- Guards:: down
- Lenny:: Kravitz
- Alliance:: Last (again with the LotR… *g*)
- Cigarettes:: and Chocolate Milk (by Rufus Wainwright)
Been thinking of compiling a list with songs with ‘chocolate’ in their title. Just because. Anyone got recs for that?
Posted: Life, Memes
